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pedroscurls · 2 days ago

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training partners (pt. 16)

summary: an article comes out about you and your relationship with hugh while he's away and you know just exactly who it was. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader warnings: reader's insecurities come back, brief mention of physical abuse (not with hugh!), mention of age gap, implied age gap (hugh is 55, reader is in late 20s-early 30s), no use of y/n. word count: 2.8k a/n: so... jack is back y'all and we've got a few more parts left of this story, so stay tuned! as always, this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman. prev part.

Hugh’s been gone for a couple of weeks now and you both manage to create a routine to speak with each other every day, depending on the time zone that he’s in. He continues to send you photos of where he’s been, wishing that you were with him, but despite the distance, it never does feel like he’s away. Hugh makes sure that you know that you’re his priority and you never have to second guess what he’s doing or where he’s at because he’s always communicating with you.

You’ll send him a text every morning you wake up, counting down the days until he gets home. You spend most of your time either editing, at a photoshoot, or working out with your personal trainer. It helps to keep yourself busy because the home you now share with Hugh is just too big for you alone. You miss his presence, miss his touch, falling asleep and waking up in his arms.

You miss him.

Today, though, you have nothing planned and you know Hugh has a day off from press so you decide to give him a call through FaceTime. He’s in Brazil, which just happens to be only two hours ahead. Dialing his number, you’re sitting out on the balcony, eating your dinner while watching the sun set. This still doesn’t feel real, like one day you’re going to wake up and realize it was all just a dream.

You hear his voice and then look down to see him through your phone, your entire face lighting up at the sight of him. You prop your phone against your water bottle and take another bite of pasta as you bring a leg up on the seat.

“Hey, baby,” he says with a smile. “Whatcha eating?”

“Made some pasta,” you answer, showing him your bowl. “Eating out on the balcony, watching the sunset. Wish you were here though.”

“I know,” Hugh sighs. “Wish I was there too. Just two more weeks, baby, then I’ll be home.”

You nod and then set your fork down, turning your entire attention on the man through your screen. “Just two more weeks,” you repeat. “How’s it going so far?”

“It’s been so much fun,” he answers. “Ryan likes to bring you up in every conversation we have almost daily,” Hugh chuckles. “Says you should be here with us, with me… and I agree with him.”

You laugh quietly and shake your head. “We both know that if you had it your way, I’d have gone with you.”

“Well…” Hugh smiles, leaning back against the bed that he’s lying on. “I did say you should come with me.”

“You know, usually the honeymoon phases out by now…” you tease. “I think you’re obsessed with me, Hugh Jackman.”

He laughs quietly, turning to lie on his side instead as he keeps the phone facing him. He is so enamored with you, that even through a simple FaceTime call, he can feel the amount of love he has for you. You’re so beautiful, the sunset casting a glow around you.

“Oh, I’m obsessed with you, huh?”

“Oh yeah,” you grin. “What is it about me, hm?”

“Everything,” he answers honestly. “I can’t just pick one thing, baby.”

You feel the heat rise in your cheeks as you wrap an arm around your leg and rest your chin on your knee. “Still the smooth talker, I see.”

Hugh rolls his eyes playfully. “I’m just tellin’ the truth.”

“I love you,” you blurt out instead.

His eyes light up – he’d never get tired of hearing you say those words. “I love you too, baby.”

“You know, the house feels so empty without you,” you admit. “I don’t know how you lived here all by yourself.”

“It was hard,” Hugh answers. “Kept myself busy most of the time, but you– you’ve made it a home. A place where I want to spend most of my days at, as long as you’re there.”

“When you say things like that, it makes me want to kiss you. So, what am I supposed to do if you aren’t here?” you smile.

“Use your imagination,” he teases.

“Ah, so I guess I’ll just have to entertain myself.”

Hugh’s gaze darkens as he shakes his head. “Don’t you dare tease me.”

“Or what? You’re not here,” you grin mischievously, pulling your lower lip between your teeth.

“Guess you’ll find out when I get home then, won’t you?”

“Fine,” you huff. “My fingers and toy aren’t the same anyway.”

“Y–You have a toy?”

You giggle. “Actually bought one a couple of days ago. Figured we could try it out together when you get back.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you grin excitedly.

Hugh groans. “Two more weeks… just two more weeks.”

You laugh to yourself and then tilt your head, eyes staring at the screen. You wish you could reach out to him, to feel his strong arms around you. “Got a full day of interviews tomorrow?”

Hugh nods. “Yeah, but you know I’ll make time to give you a call.”

“I know, Hugh,” you smile. “But it’s fine if you don’t, you know. I know you’re busy and–”

“You know I can’t go a day without talking to you, baby,” Hugh interrupts. “I’m never too busy for you.”

“I know, I just–” you sigh. “Just don’t want you to feel like you have to talk to me if you’re tired.”

“Never,” he answers. “Never too tired to talk to you. I’m already miserable without you here. If I don’t get to talk to you every day, I think I’d lose my mind.”

“Okay, Hugh,” you nod. “My perfect man.”

He chuckles and rolls his eyes. “Hopefully only perfect for you.”

“Oh, I think you’re it,” you admit with a smile.

“Yeah?” he grins. “You mean that?”

“Oh yeah,” you nod. “So don’t go and break my heart, okay?”

“I don’t ever plan to, baby,” he answers. “Because I think you’re it for me too.”

“Yeah, I wish you were here,” you sigh. “This would be a perfect moment to kiss you.”

Hugh chuckles. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too. Just two more weeks,” you repeat. “Then you’re all mine.”

“Oh, I can’t wait. We’re not leaving the house for a week, at least,” he winks.

“What did you have in mind we do for an entire week?” you ask innocently.

“I think it’d be better to show you when I get back,” he grins.

“Well, I can’t wait,” you smile. “You should probably get some rest, Hugh. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Hugh nods. “Yes, baby. I’ll give you a call tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too. Good night, Hugh.”

“Night, baby. Sweet dreams.”

“I’ll be dreaming of you,” you wink.

“Good because I’ll be dreaming of you too.”

—

A week later, you’re sitting on the bed re-reading the story about your relationship with Hugh in a well-known online published article. You can feel tears stinging your eyes, can feel your hands tremble as you read every single untrue word.

They call you a gold digger due to the age gap.

They say that you’re too ugly to be with someone like Hugh.

They say that Hugh’s only having fun with you.

That the relationship isn’t serious.

That you’re not enough.

That he’s going to realize that he deserves better than a nobody like you.

And the words stay with you because it all sounds so familiar. You’ve heard it before and there’s a dreadful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize who might be behind this article.

An article that’s now gaining more and more traction. You shouldn’t have googled Hugh’s name because all you can see in the search results are different variations of the same article. With your name plastered all over.

You’re only with him for his money.

The age gap is too ridiculous and Hugh’s just messing around after his divorce.

You’re not enough.

You finally toss your phone aside and curl into the sheets, eyes staring out the large window. You’ve never felt more alone than you did now. You can hear your phone ringing but you don’t bother trying to answer it; you just want to disappear and you certainly can’t call Hugh.

You can’t tell him; he’s already got other things to worry about.

Your tears trickle down your cheeks and stain your pillow as your breathing picks up. The article brings up a lot of feelings that you’ve tried so hard to work through because you know who’s behind it.

Jack.

It’s always going to be Jack. He just can’t leave you alone. Despite him being the one to end the relationship and the one who has verbally and physically abused you, he’s still acting like you’re the one who hurt him.

It just seems like he can’t let you go, like he still has to have some control over you.

Your phone goes off again and you turn around to grab it, seeing Hugh’s contact on your screen. You don’t answer, afraid that he’s going to tell that something’s wrong so instead, you send him a quick text to let him know that you’re busy editing and that you’d call him back once you’re finished.

It’s a lie and you hate lying to him, but you can’t tell him the truth. You can’t tell him that there’s rumors about you, about your relationship with him and how you want (and need) him so badly to be here.

He reads your message, but instead of sending a reply, he just calls you again. You don’t answer, letting it go straight to voicemail. He doesn’t leave a message, but you see that he’s begun typing – the three dots appearing on your text thread with him.

Four simple words. He texts four simple words that make your heart ache even more: You’re lying. Call me.

With a heavy sigh, you wipe your tears away and then begin to dial his number. It barely rings once before he answers the phone, his voice immediately coming on the other end of the speaker.

“You saw it,” he says.

“Yeah.” You don’t need him to clarify what he’s referring to because you know exactly what he’s talking about.

“I know you’re not okay, so don’t tell me that you are.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to say, Hugh?”

“The truth,” he answers.

“What good will that do? You’re not here.”

You hear him sigh. His voice sounds tired. “Baby, please. Just–”

“It was Jack,” you interrupt.

“What?”

“The article. It was Jack. It’s gotta be.” Your voice trembles. “I’ll be fine and–”

“I’m coming home,” Hugh says.

“You have one more week left of press.”

“I don’t care. You matter more. I’m coming home,” he repeats.

“Hugh–”

“No,” he interrupts. “Don’t defend him again. You shouldn’t even be defending him.”

“I’m not.”

“Then tell me what’s on your mind!” He raises his voice and your eyes fall shut, gripping the phone close to your ear. You know that he’s frustrated at being so far from you, for allowing you to deal with this all by yourself. He should be there with you. He needs to be there with you. “I’m sorry, baby. I just– Fuck, I feel helpless here.”

“Well, I’m feeling helpless too,” you admit. “That article… Those rumors, maybe some of them are true. Maybe you do deserve better than me.”

“Stop.” Hugh sighs. “You know that’s not true.”

“You’re you and I’m just… I’m just me.”

You can hear ruffling on the other end of the phone and when he goes to speak again, his voice sounds more distant, like he’s not holding the phone directly to his ear anymore. “I’m coming home. I already told Ryan and Shawn.”

“Hugh,” you sigh. “Baby, please.”

“No,” he says. “Don’t you think that article hurts me too?”

“B– Because of your reputation? Because of what it says about you?”

“No,” he sighs. “Because of what it says about you. It’s not fucking true. None of it is, and it hurts me because I know that it’s hurting you. So, yes, I’m coming home so that I can be there with you.”

You don’t answer because you finally feel yourself begin to break down. You put the phone on speaker and set it aside, burying your face into your hands as you let out an inaudible sob.

“Baby?”

“Don’t come home,” you finally answer. “Let me– Let me handle this on my own. Let me work through this on my own. Please, Hugh.”

“Baby,” Hugh sighs. “I can’t–”

“Hugh, I need to do this for myself. Please, can you do that for me?”

“I don’t want to,” he answers.

“I know, but you need to.”

“I can hear you crying, baby.”

“It just hurts. All of it, but I can do this,” you sniffle. You want so badly to just feel his arms around you.

Hugh sighs in defeat. “I love you,” he whispers quietly. “So much, okay?”

“I know,” you answer with a slightly trembling voice. “I know you do.”

“I won’t come home today, but I will be home by the end of the week. Can we come to that compromise?”

“Yeah,” you answer. “I think that’s okay.”

“You know you’re the best person I’ve ever met, right?” Hugh asks. “You’re kind, thoughtful, considerate… so passionate and I love everything about you. Flaws and all.”

“Even when I get into my own head and–”

“Yes,” he interrupts. “And I wish that you can see what I see in you, what everyone sees in you.”

You shut your eyes and imagine him there with you, arms wrapped around your frame, lips near your ear as he whispers. You lie on your side and wrap the sheets further around your frame as you keep the phone on speaker.

“I’m sorry I’m broken…”

“Baby,” he sighs. “You’re not broken, and you shouldn’t be apologizing. Someone who you trusted, who you loved, hurt you over and over again. He manipulated you, took advantage of you and–” he has to stop himself from talking because he can feel himself getting angrier and angrier. “Jack never deserved your love. He never deserved you.”

“Hugh…” you whisper. “I love you.” His words awakens something inside of you, something that you never thought existed. You thought you had done a lot of reflection on your relationship with Jack, but you never looked at it from your perspective in this way. You always wondered what you could have done differently, what you could have changed about yourself that it wasn’t until you met Hugh that you realized the issue was never you.

It was Jack.

And it will always be Jack.

“I’ll be home soon, okay?” Hugh sighs. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Hugh,” you sigh. “More than you ever know.”

“I’m one lucky man, I’ll tell you.” He replies.

You bite your lower lip and take your phone off speaker to bring it close to your ear instead. “I’ll call you later?” You ask.

“Yeah, baby. I’ll be here.”

“Got another full day of press?”

He sighs. “I have time for you. Always will.”

“You sure?”

“Positive, baby.”

—

For the rest of the day, you steer clear from your phone and laptop. The only time you’d reach for it is to respond to a text from Hugh or from your trainer. You distract yourself by watching movies, but even in the living room, you’re missing Hugh’s presence.

The movies only do so much for so long when your mind begins to drift to Jack. For the longest time, you’ve tried so hard to ignore it, to just move on without ever reflecting on just how toxic that relationship was for you. It was easier to just forget, but when he decided to force himself back into your life, you realized just how many unresolved emotions lay dormant.

You can still vividly feel his fist connecting with your cheek, can feel his entire body weight behind the punch. You should have left him then, shouldn’t have even let it go that far, and you wished you had a good enough reason why you didn’t leave.

Part of it was because Jack had made you believe that no one would ever want you if you did decide to leave on your own… and he would tell you how worthless you were over and over and over again to a point that you started to believe it.

But him ending the relationship had been the one of the best things to ever happen to you. You know that you still have so much to work through, but you’re no longer the same woman you were when you were still with Jack.

You try to remind yourself of that. Jack doesn’t have authority over you anymore (and he never should have). He never should have laid his hands on you. Never should have repeatedly put you down with his words.

And you’re tired of letting him get away with it. You’re tired of letting him win.

---

taglist (if links don't work, i'm sorry!): @corvusmorte - @dragonqueen89 - @whimsiwitchy - @kellyxo1

@wolviehugh - @moonxknightx - @sullyselena - @angelofthorr - @spectorrrhgf

@needz1nk - @fandomxo00 - @godlypresley - @kythefangirl25 - @callsignyourmom

@sue8724 - @squishyfruitloop - @sylviavf - @emotrash1 - @dissentientss

@sir-thisisadndserver - @absolutepie - @millajay - @itsallyscorner - @haytchee

@wolverigrl - @its-in-the-woods - @d3ad2you - @definitely-not-chill - @khxna

@jules-and-gemss @keerygal

#hugh jackman #hugh jackman angst #hugh jackman fanfiction #hugh jackman fanfic #hugh jackman x reader #hugh jackman x fem!reader #hugh jackman x female reader #hugh jackman x f!reader #rpf #real person fiction #story: training partners

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catcze · 22 hours ago

Note

I see you miss writing for his grace wriothesley,

Maybe, you can try with, uh,

you who drop by his office everyday, literally everyday whenever the man is by the fortress?

Bringing lunch and always kiss him wherever, be it by the cheeks, temples, forehead, or lips before leaving him alone again to continue his work?

Making him always anticipated for the short moment of solace, making him looking forward to your kisses—?

Only for you suddenly just stopped kissing him and only drop the lunch box, and left him behind. Earning a sad puppy all alone by the office?

You can ignore/delete this if there's already a similar fic of yours with this prompt 🙌🏻

— anywho, have a great day! 💜

!! This is sooo cute? I can just imagine the sorta shocked/hurt puppy dog look he gets on his face when you skip the kiss one day lol TT

Wriothesley is pouting. The man is honest to archons pouting, and you have no idea why.

Ever since you had returned to the fortress from your daily toil at the palais mermonia, your beloved has been huffy and pouting, only giving you curt answers and all but sulking in his chair when you ask him what's wrong. He's wrapped himself up in his paper work rather than wrapping himself up with you, even going so far as to seclude himself in his office during the usual dinnertime.

"I don't know either," Sigewinne whispers to you as you both have dinner in the cafeteria. "He's been like this for the whole afternoon. When I walked into his office after lunch he was sulking in his chair, looking mopey, when he looked completely fine this morning."

The melusine's words scratch a part of your brain, the one that tells you that you forgot something today, but that you're not entirely sure what it is. You wouldn't be surprised if you did, honestly— the palais was jam-packed with things that needed doing, papers that needed moving, and people that needed talking to. In the hustle and bustle of today, it's inevitable for you to miss something.

it all comes to a head after dinner, when you're relaxing in your and Wriothesley's shared quarters. It's late in the evening at this point, and you're already relaxed in the warm bed, a book in your hand as you wait for Wriothesley's sulking to crack and for him to eventually come and tell you what's got him in such a funk.

And it doesn't take long, either— soon enough, the door to your quarters opens and shuts quietly, and your beloved is standing by the bedside, looming over you, still with that pouty expression that, too anyone else, might seem out of character.

He doesn't say anything at first, and neither do you. Instead, you bookmark the last page you were on and set it on your side table before pulling off the blanket and opening your arms— a clear invitation. One that Wriothesley takes immediately, all but dropping into your hold and wrapping his arms around you. He buries his face in your neck, his heavy weight pressing down on your person and pinning you to the bed, but you can't be bothered to really care about that.

With one hand running through his hair, petting him while he holds you, you ask— "Something happen?"

Wriothesley huffs a breath to your neck and the warm air dances on your skin. You can feel his cheeks warm in embarrassment, maybe, as he mumbles something incomprehensible.

"Hm?"

He does it again, and you tug on his hair in retribution, drawing him away from the crook of your neck enough that you hear what he says.

"...didn't kiss me during lunch," the fearsome duke mumbles, refusing to meet your eyes, scowling with embarrassment at his own childish admission.

You blink, turning the words over in your mind as you try to recall the events of today's lunch and— yeah. He's right. Your brain had been so muddled up with things you had to get done once you returned to the palais that you had left his office in a flurry after dropping his lunch off at his desk.

At the realization that that was why he had been pouting and sulky the whole day, you can't help but giggle.

Wriothesley, in turn, scowls at you, even as the flush on his cheeks darken considerably at the admission.

"Oh, I'm sorry my love," you coo once your giggles die down, your cheeks hurting from smiling at how sweet and funny and needy this big scary warden of yours is. "Let me make it up to you, hm?"

Wriothesley is still pouting as your hands weave in his hair and you tug him down, but the expression is quickly wiped off of his face as you make up for lunchtime— you pepper kisses on his forehead, his nose, his temples, his cheeks. Your lips seek out every inch of his face, layering it gently in your amused, endeared affections.

It's only when Wriothesley is smiling softly, melting bonelessly into your embrace and all but humming as you kiss him that you stop, pulling away to grin at him.

"There. I think my debt has been repaid, no?"

#「 🐈‍⬛ 」 catcze.desserts #wriothesley x reader #genshin impact x reader #cw gn reader #genshin impact #wriothesley

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s4nguiine · 2 days ago

Text

dead flowers; pressed against my lips

arlecchino x fem!reader

» summary: you and arlecchino go on a christmas date and end the night with nasty lesbian sex

» rating: NSFW!! minors dni!!

» notes: ohhhh my godddd merry christmas everyone! here is 3.5k words of wlw with dom/sub dynamics, rough sex, choking, strap sucking, you know, the kind of stuff you usually imagine when thinking about arlecchino. don't look at me like that. i know who you are. i speedran writing this in a single afternoon and it is not beta read so there are probably many many mistakes. have fun!

arlecchino does not get christmas. she finds it frivolous and materialistic and most of all, she finds it to be a waste of time. suffice to say that the house of the hearth does not celebrate this holiday. or at least it used not to.

when she wakes up early that morning, she is immediately struck speechless when she finds you up and about. that much is a feat on its own, as you are not one to get up early unless strictly necessary. and yet here you are, awake earlier than arlecchino herself, and the living room is… green, red and golden. your back is turned to her when she enters, and although your hands are preoccupied with hanging up a wreath above the fireplace, you notice her presence anyway.

this does not come as a surprise to arlecchino. you wouldn’t run the orphanage with her if you weren’t good at your job.

“good morning,” you greet her, then you finally face her.

“what’s all… this?” arlecchino asks as she motions around her in general.

“why, it’s christmas, of course.” you smile like you’re saying the most obvious thing in the world.

arlecchino furrows her brows, looking around herself once more. “it’s gaudy.”

you laugh. she looks like a grumpy cat finding out that the furniture has been rearranged. “yes. yes, it is gaudy. but i think the kids will like it. some of them never got to experience christmas before, a change of pace should do them good.”

the harbinger sighs and relents. “i suppose you are right. it shouldn’t hurt to spoil them every now and then.” she can’t not relent when there’s that spark in your eye anyway. in this way, you’ve got her wrapped around your finger.

“come on,” you say, making your way towards the kitchen. “we still have some time before the kids wake up. coffee?”

arlecchino follows. “of course.”

she doesn’t need to say how she wants it made. you know that she likes it black, no sugar, no milk or cream. in this way, the two of you are once again opposites. arlecchino often cringes at the amount of flavoring you like to put in your coffee, asking you if you even like coffee in the first place. the truth that you haven’t told her yet is that you just want to be involved in her daily routine.

you were right, of course. the children begin to filter in, and everyone’s spirits seem to lift when their eyes land on the decorated living room. the more extroverted children are visibly excited, wasting no time in running back to the dorms to grab their friends, and even the gloomy ones perk up somewhat. arlecchino’s eyes, however, remain pinned to your beaming face. you’re clearly proud of your work.

if you’re the sun, the arlecchino is the darkness. and much like the color black, she wants - no, needs to soak in as much of your light as possible.

arlecchino catches your attention by tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. finally, your eyes are on her. if things went according to her, they would never leave her. the knave is lucky that the kids are too busy to notice this moment of tenderness.

days pass, and arlecchino finds herself growing accustomed to the holiday atmosphere around her. in the end, she is glad that she allowed you to do this.

she sits by the hearth, gazing into the fire as she usually does when she’s free, a warm cup in her hand. the scent of high quality chenyu vale tea wafts into the air, creating a relaxing atmosphere calm enough to lull one to sleep.

your footsteps draw near, and arlecchino knows that she can only hear them because you allow her to. she puts down her cup and folds her hands in her lap.

“come to keep me company?” she asks, feeling the backrest of her chair dip under your weight as you lean on it.

“maybe. or maybe i’ve come to ask you out on a date,” you reply.

arlecchino lifts both of her eyebrows and finally turns her head to look at you. “a date?”

“indeed. we haven’t gone in a while, right?”

arlecchino hums. she takes your hand in hers and brings it to her lips. “do you have something in mind?”

you smile at her display of affection. “there’s a christmas market in the court of fontaine. what do you say we go check it out tonight?”

she takes a moment to consider it. markets really aren’t her thing, and she really doesn’t understand the excitement about christmas. but it would make you happy. if she gets to see your smile, she will go.

“very well. let’s have a date, dear.” your grin is all she needs to know she made the right choice. “as for those three…”

“i will handle it.” you pull away and cross your arms, facing a nearby door. “you can come out now.”

there is a moment of silence before lyney, lynette and freminet emerge from the door, each looking more bashful than the other.

“i’m disappointed,” you scold. “surely i taught you to sneak better than this. did you even try to be quiet?”

the trio shift on their feet, throwing glances at each other to urge someone to speak already. you shake your head. “two weeks of dishwashing duties for each of you. now go along. i’m sure you have chores to do.”

lynette and freminet both deadpan at lyney, who laughs nervously. this is enough to clue you in on whose idea it was to spy on you. the children leave, and you sigh. “sometimes i feel like i have no clue what’s going on through their heads.”

arlecchino does. you’ve always had a way of pulling all eyes towards you. it makes it all the more impressive how good you are at being stealthy. she rests her hands on the armrests of the chair and pushes herself up.

“now then, let’s waste no more time and start getting ready, yes?”

you look at her, confused. “we still have ti-”

the words are swiped from your tongue when arlecchino leans in to capture your chin between her thumb and index finger. “don’t you want to pretty yourself up for me?”

your face burns up with the heat of a thousand suns. “i… yes… of course…”

the harbinger graces you with a small smile that’s enough to make you feel weak in the knees. she then lets go of you and retreats into the bedroom, leaving you reeling in the middle of the living room.

you’re pretty sure your brain just melted. when you come to, it’s been a full minute, and you quickly scamper to the bathroom to start putting on your makeup. yes, you’ll pretty yourself up for her. better yet, you will make her want you like she’s never wanted you before. tonight will end with her strap rearranging your guts, you’ll make sure of it.

when the two of you meet outside, you both stare at each other without saying anything. she’s hot. insanely hot. hotter than usual, even despite the fact that she is wearing more clothes than usual. arlecchino’s hair is let loose for once, a sight usually reserved for the bedroom. she knows you like it loose. seems that the two of you have the same plans for tonight.

you grin and take her up on her silent offer to lock your arms together.

“you look dashing,” she says. compliments are rare - you know you’ve struck gold.

“so do you. i’ll have to watch out for suitors.”

“no need.” her eyes are cold as she sweeps them over your surroundings. “i only have you in my sights.”

satisfied and arm in arm, you head out to find the christmas market. it only takes a few minutes for you to arrive at the main plaza, which is teeming with people. you know you don’t have to worry, though. as soon as you enter the crowd, there forms a circle of space around you two. this is simply the effect of dating peruere, who is so intimidating that people naturally avoid her whether intentionally or unintentionally. not you, though. you find that attractive.

you arrive at the first mulled wine stand and get a cup for each of you (but not without complaining about the ridiculous price.) arlecchino watches as you hold it with both of your hands and blow at the rising steam to cool the drink down a little. your cheeks and nose are red from the cold and your eyes are cast downward to show off the full length of your eyelashes.

having a better tolerance for heat, she sips at her own wine without taking her eyes off of you. you blink when you notice.

“like what you see?” you grin, exposing the teeth beneath your red-tinted lips.

arlecchino hums. “i do. very much.” she notices a speck of mascara on your cheekbone. immediately without thinking her hand darts out to wipe it away, black finger brushing against your skin.

“you’re spoiling me tonight, i see,” you joke. it’s all you can do not to give away your racing heart.

“for now,” she replies. “don’t get too used to it.” and with a wink she turns to lead you to another stand. you feel warmth pooling in the pit of your stomach and you’re unsure whether it’s the alcohol or the anticipation of what’s to come.

it is a nice date. you walk between the stalls, looking at the various products on sale. at some point you buy matching rings for you two, and you get chocolate croissants and some more wine, her treat of course.

by the end of the evening there is a pleasant buzz permeating your body and you’ve got a dumb grin on your face. arlecchino also seems more relaxed, despite all the eyes on her. she leans in close to your ear.

“shall we get to the next program?” she asks. you have to hold down a whimper.

your shoulder presses closer to hers, both hands wrapped around her arm. “i would love nothing more.”

“wonderful. let us depart.”

you are shoved down onto the bed, your naked body bouncing with the force of the push. arlecchino watches you like a hawk about to snoop down to catch her prey. she finds pleasure in seeing your messed up makeup, the lipstick smeared from vigorous kissing, and she licks her lips to taste your spit. stripping down to her underwear, she finally climbs on top of you, presenting you with a full view of her clothed cunt. she’s wearing the panties you gifted her a few months ago; black with a small red ribbon in the front. you’re salivating.

“what are you waiting for?” her voice comes from above, and in the darkness of the room all you can make out from her face are the glowing red crosses in her eyes. you swallow. “take them off.”

your thumbs immediately find their way under the hem of her underwear but she slaps them away.

“with your teeth.”

you let out a shaky breath. “yessir,” you reply as you push yourself up on your elbows. your face inches closer to her sex and you pinch the fabric between your incisors, careful not to bite arlecchino. your nose buries itself in her lower abdomen, upper lip dragging across her skin as you pull the panties lower. you manage to pull them down to the middle of her thighs before letting go. a strand of spit connects you to the fabric before breaking once you’re far enough.

the harbinger lets out a pleased hum. “good girl,” she purrs, and her clawed hand cups your cheek. her thumb pushes down onto your lower lip before breaching the entrance of your mouth. she explores your tongue and teeth and you let her like an obedient puppy begging for a treat.

arlecchino releases you from her grasp and you whimper. she reaches behind you, grabbing something from her drawing, and when she comes back into your field of vision, she’s holding a strap harness.

“would you put this on for me, darling?” she asks. you nod. of course you nod. anything for her, anything she asks. you take the harness and put it on her, making it tight enough to stay in place but not so tight for it to dig into her skin uncomfortably. more praises spill from her lips and you have to rub your legs together in search of some kind of friction.

arlecchino fastens a strap-on to the harness. you peek up at her through your lashes, salivating at the sight of her towering you. she seems to notice your reaction as her eyes narrow into a crescent shape. she grips the toy with her hand, bringing it up to your lips.

“why don’t you suck it first, hm?”

you part your lips, breathing onto the fake cock in front of you. “yessir…” she doesn’t move. you have to do all the work, and you do it gladly, leaning in, resting the dildo on your tongue. it tastes funny. you pay it no mind. it’s time to put on a show for her.

you swirl your tongue around its tip before dipping lower to its base, coating the dildo with your saliva. her eyes remain on you, a scalding hot gaze that penetrates your very soul. it makes you shudder.

a couple more licks, and you feel that the dildo is sufficiently covered. you pull back to the tip to give it a tender kiss, maintaining eye contact with arlecchino, before closing your eyes and completely wrapping your lips around her cock. your head dips and you take more of its length in your mouth. you move without stopping, until the dildo hits the back of your throat, making you gag. breathing in deep, you swallow around the shaft in an attempt to get used to it, and as you do so, you feel arlecchino tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“you’re taking it so good,” she coos, almost out of breath. “go on. you can take all of it.”

of course you can. if it’s her, you can do anything. so you flatten your tongue around the base of it and you push deeper, feeling it enter your throat. tears well up in your eyes, spit runs down your chin, but you press on - and at last, you can feel your nose hit the leather harness. you feel full, accomplished.

arlecchino shifts her hips and you gag again. “good girl,” she praises, and if you had a tail, it would be wagging right about now. “i suppose i should reward you for being so obedient.” she reaches behind herself, and as soon as you feel her fingers push past the folds of your pussy, you groan around the girth of the dildo. her middle finger teases your clit and your hips flinch. you want it, you need it so bad. unfortunately for you, you cannot beg with your mouth full of cock.

arlecchino pulls back her hips and you gasp for air, then cough as you choke on your own saliva. she brings her hand forward again, glistening with your arousal.

“so wet,” she drawls. “i didn’t even have to touch you.”

“please,” you seize this opportunity to beg, “please fuck me. please.”

arlecchino’s eyes find yours, and they’re freezing cold. “all in due time, my dear. or are you questioning my leadership?”

you shake your head. “i wouldn’t dare.”

“that’s what i thought.” you think you’re about to pass out with arousal. “open up.”

obedient as always, you do as you’re told, and her strap is back in your mouth before you can register anything. she begins to move her hips, and you suck to the best of your abilities. this proves difficult when her hand finds your cunt once again, middle and ring fingers rubbing your clit in a circular motion.

your eyes roll back into your head at the feeling and you arch your back. the moment you lose focus however, arlecchino draws her hand back and slaps your pussy, forcing a muffled squeak out of you. you get right back to work, glancing up at her pleadingly. she decides to indulge you, going back to your pussy, this time pushing her fingers inside while her thumb stimulates your clit.

your thighs shake, but you do your best to focus on showering her strap with love. arlecchino sighs at the sight. she withdraws her fingers to touch herself under the harness. and you feel yourself drip even more. arlecchino then grabs a fistful of your hair with the hand coated in a combination of your slick and hers, and her thrusts grow more forceful. your own hands find purchase on her thighs, now gone taut as her muscles flex.

she fucks your throat mercilessly through your garbled sounds of pleasure and gagging, and your eyes roll back as your vision grows blurry with the lack of oxygen in your lungs. your face burns and turns red. and just as you think that you’re about to pass out, arlecchino pulls out to let you breathe. you gasp, and the moment your lungs fill with air, your cunt spasms and you release, painting the bed sheets with your arousal.

the woman above watches you intently, her chest rising and falling with deep breaths. neither of you realize it, but her own arousal drips from between her folds, falling in drops onto your bare stomach.

once more, she praises you. “good girl,” she says, and you believe her. you’ve been a very good girl.

arlecchino lets go of your hair and gets off you, leaving you to ride out your high and calm down. once your small moans cease, she settles between your legs, lifting your hips and hooking your knees over her shoulders. it seems that while you were reeling, arlecchino procured a flask of lube, which she is now pouring over the dildo.

she then strokes the dildo with her bare hand, a casually vulgar display that leaves you biting your lip. her fingers delve inside your pussy and make a scissoring motion to test how stretched you are, and she hums, pleased with the result. at last, she lines up the tip of her cock with your entrance, and with a plunge, its girth enters your body.

you moan, fingers digging into the bed sheets as you’re stretched and filled. your heels dig into arlecchino’s back, toes curling while you struggle to breathe.

arlecchino’s hawk-like eyes remain on the connecting point between your bodies and one of her hands lets go of your thigh to rub at your swollen clit, which pulls a whine out of you.

“puh-please, have some mercy-” you interrupt yourself with a groan as arlecchino thrusts her hips, rocking your body. you feel like you’re going to snap in two.

“don’t lie to yourself,” she scolds, “you love it when i’m rough.” she thrusts again, hitting a spot deep inside that rips a sob out of you.

you cry, “you’re right! fuck- fuck me! peruere!”

arlecchino’s eyes widen at the mention of her name, crimson crosses seemingly glowing brighter. “as you wish, dear.”

she sets a merciless pace. the dildo penetrates you time and time again, and each time the sounds of your sex grow wetter, dirtier. you’re practically gushing over her dick while she rearranges your guts, fucking you into the mattress like her life depends on it.

her thrusts turn you into a whimpering and mewling mess, and arlecchino groans with you as you begin to unravel.

“so beautiful,” she says, voice gravelly, “you’re so beautiful for me. are you gonna cum again, dear?”

you have half a brain cell to nod. your mascara runs down your face and your lipstick is smeared all over your mouth. in spite of this, she calls you beautiful, and you truly believe her, for anything arlecchino says is the truth.

you feel pressure on your clit again, as peruere massages the bundle of nerves. you sob, then throw your head back, and your vision goes white. everything inside you grows taut, until the dam breaks with the snap of a finger and you come undone, legs stretching as you squirt all over arlecchino’s belly.

her movements finally still, except for her finger on your clit, which only slows down. you hiss when it becomes painful and arlecchino stops entirely. she pulls out and leans in to kiss you, humming into your mouth when you reciprocate.

“wonderful,” she mumbles. “you’re simply wonderful.”

your tongue feels heavy in your mouth, leaving you unable to reply. you don’t need to. arlecchino draws back and you hear the clinking of the harness’ strap, followed by a soft thud.

as you stare at the ceiling, the harbinger comes into view once more. “i hope you don’t think we’re done for tonight,” she says.

you chuckle.

“without repaying the deed? never.”

#★ genshin tag #arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x you #arlecchino x female reader #arlecchino x y/n #genshin x reader

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elderberries-and-honey · 2 days ago

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Dear Gladys,

I have been home with Beth and my sisters for a little over a week now. Mostly, I have been working on my cross-stitch; Beth says I have some of the best embroidery skills for a girl my age that she has ever seen! I suppose this shouldn't have shocked me so much, since Ms Hoffman always complimented my skill, but it seems to mean more from Beth since she is so good herself.

Beth told me that when she was a girl, she was very poor, and she sewed all of her and her sister's clothes by hand. She says this is why she often makes mine and my sisters dresses; she calls it 'a habit she never grew out of'.

But even though I love my needlepoints, my hands grow sore and sometimes I just can't stand it anymore when the needle keeps biting my fingers! So, I cannot imagine how Beth does it for so long. If I was ever rich, I think I would buy a sewing machine instead.

Beth and I have worked in the kitchen together before, but now, she says, I should learn more since it will be good for me as a wife. She has been teaching me to bake all sorts of things, and of course, I thought of you and your family!

First, we started with bread, and she taught me to knead dough by hand, which I did not realise was such hard work! I think I will savor every bite of the bread from your bakery from now on.

After I mastered the bread well enough, we moved onto some pastries, and I liked that a whole lot more. She has taught me how to make Papanasi, which is my father's favourite dessert. Next week, we will make Kissel, since the big cranberry harvest is this Saturday afternoon. Though I am not too fond of them, I am still excited anyway.

Something to know about Beth, is that she is what my mother calls, 'very devout'. My mother says this is why she respects Beth so much, because Beth practices her beliefs everyday, not just on Sundays like some people.

And so, Beth and I have started to read the Bible together at least a little bit everyday. But reading with Beth isn't like it is in church at all; she actually makes it fun! When we're finished with our daily passages, she even lets me ask all sorts of things about our reading, and never, ever sighs impatiently. I think this is what my mother means when she says Beth practices everyday because most grown ups I know do not like it when you ask so many questions.

I think Beth might be the kindest woman in the entire world, and I must say, if we all must become grown ups someday, I hope that I am like her.

Goodness, I miss you so much; it feels like it's been years since I've seen you, rather than a week. I hope I receive a letter from you soon, and you simply MUST tell me what is going on with everyone in class.

Sincerely,

Flora Belle

Thank you again to @antiquatedsimmer for the bible pose pack who without this scene would still just be fever dream in my head. Be sure to check out my lovely friend's other pose packs here!

#she says she hopes she's like beth....#then starts reading the bible before bed 😉#ts4 historical #ts4 decades challenge #ts4 legacy #ts4 storytelling #ts4 gameplay #decades challenge #generation 01 #the baudelaire legacy #1890 #florence baudelaire #beth herbert

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koji-haru · 2 days ago

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Preoccupations

[Merry Christmas @inubaki!! I hope you'll like your gift!! ❤️]

The design they had for the first human had always been beautiful; smooth, perfect skin blessed by the richness of the sun, warm, brown messy locks that looked temptingly soft to the touch, beautifully long and tall. But as soon as the first human took his first breath and saw the world for the first time through eyes of pure gold, more precious than any treasure in the universe, Lucifer knew then that his heart yearned for this perfect being. Everything about this human was simply perfect. The way his eyes were wide with pure innocence and wonder, ever so curious of the new life that surrounded him. How his smile was so sweet Lucifer could feel the rush within his being. And when he finally spoke? A voice more heavenly than all of Heaven’s choir combined. Yes, the first human was perfect as if made only for Lucifer, and Lucifer made for him.

“Welcome to the garden of Eden, Adam the first man,” greeted Sera.

Adam. Even his name sounded like music to Lucifer’s ears, the perfect melody to his lyrics. And when their eyes met, rosy reds and silken gold, it was as if time had stopped and nothing existed in the universe besides the two of them. Then he could feel his heart beat, his blood in a frenzied rush all over his system, and slowly the sounds of the birds chattering in the background, the whispers amongst the other angels, the whistling of the tall grasses all returned just as time returned to its normal flow. Back to the way things were, except somehow, the world seemed to glow even more beautifully whenever his eyes laid upon the sun.

—-

Another day, another search for a particularly evasive angel. At least the garden was beautiful; the twinkling songs of the gentle streams, the way the clear waters glistened under the golden sun, the warm breeze that flew refreshingly through his robes. Without a doubt, the place truly was paradise. So despite having to do such a menial and unnecessary task that really had nothing to do with him, Michael didn’t mind it so much. If anything, it was a good break from his daily routines. He was starting to suspect that Lucifer was doing these ‘hide and seek’ from Heaven just so he could force Michael to ‘go out and smell the flowers’ whatever that meant. He always went out, every single day he had to do a full patrol of the garden to ensure its safety and sometimes, even venture out to the world beyond the garden. Really, he felt that there was no–

Oomph! Caught off guard, Michael fell unceremoniously into the stream as something launched itself towards him, its arms wrapped tightly around him in an excited embrace. Looking up, he was met with the purest of smiles, eyes shining brighter than Eden’s sun.

“Luci! You’re–!”

The smile on Adam’s face dropped and was immediately replaced with furrowed brows, slightly down turned lips and a slight tilt of the head as he sat up and pulled away from Michael.

“You’re not Luci,” said Adam, a tinge of disappointment evident in his voice.

“No, I’m not,” Michael confirmed, sitting up slightly. “I’m Michael.”

“Are you an angel too?” asked Adam as he eyed the six blue white wings sprawled out and drenched in the stream. “Lucifer has six of those too, except his are red and white.”

A small smile slowly began to adorn Michael’s face at the adorable sight in front of him. “Yes, I’m an angel too. Actually, I’m Lucifer’s brother.”

“Brother? What’s that?” Adam cocked his head to the side, the word new and unfamiliar to him. “Can I have one too?”

“It’s when, hmm…” Michael took a pause to carefully think of his answer. Did siblings work the same with humans? “Lucifer and I are brothers because we came from the same star. Similar to how wolves are brothers, or sisters, because they come from the same mother. And I can’t just give you one, Heaven will have to decide on that.”

“Oh,” was Adam’s short response as mulled over the new information he had just learned, trying to make sense of it.

Then a set of curious eyes travelled from Michael’s wings towards his face as Adam leaned closer down, a feather light finger tracing the little gold stars that travelled across Michael’s cheeks down to a cheek, where he poked at it as if something was amiss.

“Um…” Michael stilled on the spot, unaccustomed to such intimate contact.

“Then how come you have these on your face instead of the red ones that Luci has?” asked Adam as he poked at Michael’s cheek repeatedly. “The animals here look similar to their brothers and sisters.”

“Well, first please get off of me.”

The short distance between them accompanied by the fact that Adam was sitting on top of him was sending odd, messy signals into Michael’s brain, and he wasn’t sure what to do with it. It was unnerving to him how he didn’t mind at all this new, unfamiliar sensation. And so, with nervous, hesitant hands, he pulled Adam’s off of his face with one hand and used the other to gently push the human away from him so he could sit up. But just as he was about to finally sit up, the weight on him suddenly disappeared as a swift flurry of red and white rushed past him, scooping Adam up and away.

A gasp followed by soft giggles of, “Luci!” told Michael that Adam was fine and who the sudden visitor was. To his right was his brother, both arms tightly wrapped around the human, all six wings flared out and spread wide, a possessive lour sent his way which would swiftly turn into a melting gaze as soon as he laid eyes on Adam.

Odd. Lucifer had never acted that way towards Michael before, all so defensively territorial. It wasn’t like he was any danger to Adam at all. Though, he did feel a pang of…something when he saw Adam sweetly laughing, so happy to be carefully wrapped by his brother’s embrace. The weight and warmth that was on top of him moments ago now suddenly felt like some sort of lost treasure, the pleasant presence far too distant for his current liking. It was all rather disconcerting to him, all these sudden influx of feelings. But then again, Adam’s skin against his felt rather…nice. Michael looked down at his hand, the sensation from earlier a ghostly kiss that he craved more of.

—-

“It’s a little unfair, don’t you think?” grumbled Lucifer as he sat close to Adam, trying to not-so-subtly disrupt the human’s work.

“I told you before, Luci, your hair’s too short,” Adam tried to reason as he pushed away Lucifer’s meddling hand from the braids he was doing on Michael’s hair.

On the other end, Michael was in bliss. He couldn’t visit the garden as often as Lucifer did, but whenever he did, Adam always showered him with affection. And while he hated the fact that Lucifer got to spend more time with Adam overall, it seemed that being busy and playing the exhausted card got him special treatment sometimes. In a way, it was almost worth it. Almost. If only his brother would stop trying to disrupt the precious time he did get to have with his human.

It took a while, a lot of wing pulling, setting one another on fire, and some discussion leading to a begrudging compromise before the two brothers could finally accept that they couldn’t keep the other from their beloved human. And as much as both of them would rather have Adam all to themselves, at the very least it was only the two of them who frequented the garden. Any other angel who dared showed interest in the garden was either suddenly given a new role or duty by Michael, where sometimes they ‘take too long’ to complete their new duties; or simply scared away by Lucifer, never to be seen again.

Lucifer managed to slip hand between Adam’s hands and grabbed onto a golden lock of Michael’s hair, harshly pulling on it.

“Ow!” cried out Michael, one hand reaching out to stop Lucifer’s petty assault. “Let go!” “No!” Lucifer adamantly refused. They had spent most of the day with Michael being so snug to Adam, with Lucifer feeling like some sort of third party. He should be one snuggling so comfortably on Adam’s lap! Not Michael, but him! He was first after all!

“Lucifer, don’t be mean!” Adam tried to calm the angry angel, but soon resorted to gently cupping Lucifer’s face when words didn’t seem enough. His soft golden eyes looking directly at Lucifer’s own quickly calmed down the fire in the small angel’s eyes. “Calm down, okay?”

A huff and pout. No matter how annoyed he got, Lucifer could never truly say no to his human. But that didn’t mean he was going to give up and end up empty handed. So, he did as Adam asked and let go of Michael's hair and instead took hold of Adam’s face, pulling the human into a soft, chaste kiss. A little compensation for having been disregarded.

The lovely red that quickly blossomed on Adam’s cheeks was worth the icy glare that he felt piercing through his body from Michael. He was sure things were going to end up difficult for him once he returned home to Heaven, but that was definitely worth the price for Adam’s first kiss.

—-

Adam sat quietly by the river, kicking little splashes of water everywhere as he tried hard to keep his spirits up. All he needed was patience. Surely Karael would arrive soon. Though, he had been waiting for a long time now. Adam and his new angel friend were supposed to meet by the river just before the sun reaches its highest point in the sky, and yet, the sun had already begun its journey down towards the horizon and still, Karael could not be found. The angel seemed so excited as well to spend time with him. Maybe Adam had gone to the wrong place again?

“Adam?”

A familiar voice called out to him, and when he turned, he was greeted with a familiar kind face, speckled with little gold stars. One of the few friends he had that actually remained.

“Hi Michael…” Adam waved a little sadly at the angel, his shoulders drooped down with increasing disappointment.

“What’s the matter?” asked Michael as he sat close to Adam, one hand wrapped around the human’s shoulder, pulling him close.

A disheartened sigh escaped Adam’s lips, “Karael hasn’t showed up yet. She promised to show me something today…”

This always happened. Whenever he made new friends, they would always suddenly leave him without another word, gone forever without a trace. They wouldn’t even say goodbye. Adam felt the tears prickle his eyes as he lost more and more hope in meeting his new friend. He didn’t understand why almost everyone seemed to just disappear on him. Had he done something wrong? Both Michael and Lucifer always reassured him that he never did anything wrong, but that only left him more confused. Did the other angels just not like him?

“Maybe she’ll arrive soon enough,” Michael tried to reassure despite knowing full well that that wasn’t the case. No other angel was allowed to get their unworthy hands on their precious human.

“I don’t know…” Adam quietly admitted.

“Adaaaam!”

Suddenly a pair of arms covered in loose robes enveloped itself around Adam’s shoulders just as a pale face with rosy red cheeks popped up brightly to the human’s left side.

“How’s my cute duckie doing?” Lucifer asked as he rubbed his cheek against Adam’s.

Out of the corner of his eye, Michael the residual golden stains on Lucifer’s robes. How sloppy. As adorable as Adam’s curious nature was, there was no need for him to see and question the odd splash of gold on Lucifer’s robes. And so, with a silent snap of his fingers, he burned away the damning evidence that clung onto his brother.

“Much better now,” answered Adam, a little smile beginning to form on his lips.

“Much better now? Why? What happened?”

“Karael hasn’t showed up yet,” Michael said with a shrug.

Lucifer slid down from Adam’s shoulder until he was lazily draped over the human’s lap. “Ah, who cares about her anyway? It’s her loss! You’re too good for her.”

“I agree,” Michael added with a nod as he snuggled even closer towards Adam. “She doesn’t deserve you.”

A blossom of red began to stain Adam’s cheeks at the words from both brothers as a fuzzy fluttering had once again started to go wild from his stomach as if pink butterflies were about to burst out of him. He wasn’t sure why, but it always happened whenever either Lucifer or Michael were close to him, like right now. It was an odd feeling, somewhat akin to nervousness, but better and much more pleasant. Either way, the day might not have begun so happily for Adam, but at the very least both Lucifer and Michael were always there to cheer him up and brighten his day. He felt so incredibly lucky to have the two as friends who cared deeply for him.

The sky was a bright orange and the night was fast approaching as the sun began to sink in the horizon. In the past, Sera would’ve been a little worried about both Lucifer’s and Michael’s prolonged absence from Heaven. However, at this point, she already knew where the two could possibly be. The place where they spent most of their free time: the garden of Eden.

As usual, Sera was correct in assumption as she stood over the trio sleeping on grass with Adam in the middle wrapped between the two brothers, encased in both of their wings. Sera did find it odd at the start, and honestly, she still did until now. But no matter how much she questioned and tried to reason with the brothers, both remained adamant about staying in the garden. And really, there was only so much she could do. A tired sigh escaped from her. She supposed Adam could use a friend or two, at least until they finished making the first woman. For now, she would leave the odd trio be. There was no harm to it after all.

—--

It had been quite some time since Lucifer had smelled air that wasn’t stagnant and pungent, one that wasn’t devoid of life and joy. The cool breeze that ran fast through his silken locks had never felt more freeing as he climbed atop a fluffy cloud to sit beside his brother. It felt odd to him, to feel warmth. Warmth, not scorching, burning heat from beyond the deepest depths of the earth. It was a gentle warmth, a tender kiss from the sun so high up in the sky, so close to the place he used to call home.

“I’m still in disbelief at what you did,” Michael said as he moved a little to make some space beside him, his eyes still glued attentively at the young, new world beneath them.

“Well, what else could I have done?” Lucifer retorted as he took the spot on the cloud offered to him, his eyes also beginning to scan the earth for a certain someone. “Besides, it’s not like you were entirely against it.”

Michael let out a weary sigh, unable to fully deny his brother’s implications. “Couldn’t you have done the same to Eve as I did with Lilith?”

“You do know Eve, right? That woman could not be persuaded to abandon her purpose,” Lucifer scoffed before his shoulders dropped low, weighed down by a sudden gloom, his ruby eyes in pained yearning as he found the person he was looking for.

Beneath the two brothers, far down below from the lofty clouds, was the beginnings of a small village. New humans that Lucifer had never seen before, though each one had an odd air of familiarity to them, whether it was the colour of their skin, the shades of their hair, or the shine in their eyes. Each one of these new, unfamiliar humans had a little piece of their beloved Adam embedded in them, one that Lucifer had been denied of by Heaven. And amongst the slowly growing crowd, was a tall man with skin marred by untold hardships, flesh grown stronger from endless necessary work, lines amongst his face that held stories of the past. But despite all these changes, those eyes remained ever the same: a gold more radiant than the sun, far more precious than any treasure that could ever be found in all of Heaven, Hell or Earth.

“Why did Adam have to leave the garden too?” sighed Lucifer, his heart breaking at the sight beneath him: his beloved having a life of which he had no part in. Suddenly, a thought popped up in his head. Was it a little sinister? Something an angel should never think of? Perhaps. But Lucifer supposed that didn’t matter to him anymore. He was no longer an angel after all.

“They’re mortal, right?”

“..yes?” Michael eyed Lucifer suspiciously, though he was willing to hear him out. “Why are you asking?”

“And they no longer have the protection they had in Eden, right?” Lucifer continued.

“Lucifer, I'm not killing Adam just so he could come to either of us quicker,” Michael said resolutely.

“What? No! Not Adam!” Lucifer refuted absolutely, eyes widened in shock that his brother would even think of that. “I meant Eve! Eve!!”

A contemplative look washed over Michael’s features as he mulled over Lucifer’s suggestion. As an angel, he couldn’t directly intervene with human affairs nor could he communicate with them personally ever since the incident in the garden. Lucifer, however, no longer had obligations to Heaven, though he had been cursed to remain in Hell for the rest of his eternal life. Of course, that didn’t mean he couldn’t loosen those chains a little once in a while.

“Hm, Earth is quite a harsh place. Not very safe for fragile, mortal humans,” Michael mused loudly. “An unfortunate accident or a lethal animal attack is bound to happen soon.”

Michael gave Lucifer a calm look redolent of malignant mischief. “I heard some snakes are venomous…and deadly.”

“Really now?” Lucifer queried, his tone in playful high pitches. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind~.”

—-

“Is he dead yet?” Lucifer asked as he lazily laid on the cloud, his head barely on the edge.

Sitting beside him, was as usual, Michael, his expression impassive and unreadable as he observed the now large and steadily growing human village.

“Unfortunately not.”

Lucifer let out a loud groan, stretching all of his limbs before letting them fall limply to his sides. “Eve died a long time ago, and it’s almost been a millennia since he had left the garden.”

He rolled over so that he was now laying on his stomach, his side flush against Michael, before suddenly sprouting up, voicing his anxiety aloud.

“Are you sure he’s mortal? He didn’t eat the fruit, what if? Oh, no! What if–!” he gasped dramatically, one hand over his mouth, the other grasping onto Michael as he shook him urgently. “Michael! Go get your sword, we’re taking matters into our own hands!”

“Lucifer calm down,” Michael calmly reassured his brother as he tried to pry Lucifer’s claws off of his arm. Though, after realising that words were not enough to calm his brother down, Michael then opted to simply grab Lucifer’s face and forcefully tilted it down towards a particular spot in the village.

“Look carefully,” he said, “Do you see Adam?”

With his face squished and held onto place, Lucifer had no choice but to focus his eyes towards the direction he had been turned to. He squinted and squinted, readjusting his eyesight to see more clearly until finally, it landed on a frail figure with ashen hair, sun-kissed skin marked full of a lifetime of adventures, and surrounded by a loving crowd. If it were anyone else, they might have not recognised him, but Lucifer could never ever forget the eyes of the one that stole his heart. No matter how much time had passed, those eyes remained forever the same. Sure, they looked far more hardened than the first time he had seen them, the golden glow in them a little more jaded, but it still belonged to the first man. Their precious Adam.

Taking Lucifer’s silence as affirmation, Michael let go of his hold on Lucifer, letting him hang in a trance. “Don’t worry, Adam’s not immortal. He’s aging, and I’m sure he’ll be truly home soon. Just give it some time.”

“Ooor we can speed up the process,” Lucifer jokingly suggested, but also was half serious. Surely Adam wouldn’t mind it so much if they freed him from his feeble shell sooner than time would.

“That would be nice, but no,” Michael shut down Lucifer’s suggestion, knowing fully well that his brother would act on it if he so much as gave a hint of approval. “We’ll play it safe this time. He’ll come to us eventually. He has to.”

—-

Lucifer sat stupefied in the embassy at the sight in front of him, an odd concoction of awe, incredulity and indignation slowly simmering within him. Sitting right across from him was none other than the love of his unending existence, his Adam in all of his golden beauty. It seemed that the afterlife had returned his youthful appearance, one that was strikingly similar to the look he had back in the garden. But that wasn’t what truly captured his full attention. He didn’t know it was possible, and yet the proof sat so casually in front of him. Somehow, his human had become even more beautiful, going beyond perfection. The way the soft golden glow of his halo illuminated his face like a loving caress, those pair of shimmering gold wings so large that they easily reached the ground, those loose white, lilac and gold robes that hid his form so teasingly; just the thought of being the privileged one to unravel it like a gift and see the perfection hidden beneath it sent pleasant shivers down Lucifer’s spine. It had been an eternity since he felt such sublimity, and he had only been close to Adam’s presence. He could only imagine…

Another important matter, however, caught his attention. His human was now an angel, and that meant that his angel now resided in Heaven. That was a problem. Another glaring problem was the fact that his brother, Michael, was very comfortably snuggling against his angel!

“How long have you been in Heaven?!” Lucifer let out an anguished cry as he stood up, slamming both hands on the long table separating him from the two angels.

“Hmm, when did I first arrive in Heaven again?” Adam wondered aloud, his chin rested atop of Michael’s soft golden locks.

“I’d say, maybe, a few months ago?” Michael answered, a curled finger resting against his lips in thought.

The sound of Adam’s angelic voice would’ve sent Lucifer in catatonia with how velvety sweet it felt in his ears if it weren’t for that fact that he had just found out that Adam had died and gone to Heaven months ago, and he had no knowledge of it the entire time.

Blood red horns pointing to the sky sprouted from his skull, a raging fire in between them, his spiked tail swishing impatiently behind him as his anger slowly reached its boiling point. The sight of both his Adam and Michael being so close to each other in front of him not helping to calm him down. A void like shadow loomed before him, gradually increasing in both size and intensity the more he leaned forward, directing an aggrieved glare towards his brother.

“All this time! You had Adam all to yourself?!” shouted Lucifer, the fire between his horns flaring up with every intonation. “How is that fair?!”

On the other hand, Michael seemed unaffected by Lucifer’s display of fiery rage, one hand reaching up to gently pat Adam’s head in reassurance. He knew his brother could be rather emotional, especially when it came to the first man. Other than that, he was harmless, at least to both him and Adam.

“Adam had to first learn how to be an angel, and setting a meeting with you including Adam took far too long to be approved,” Michael explained.

“Clearly! You were hogging all of Adam’s time!” Lucifer argued, his legs bent and ready to spring towards his target.

Michael wouldn’t admit it to Lucifer’s face lest he make the aggrieved Devil explode even more in anger, but he did enjoy having most of Adam’s time and attention during those first few months. There were some nuisances he had to get rid of by way of gentle reminders of their positions and capabilities, but it worked out in the end. For the most part, he managed to assign himself as Adam’s teacher and guide in Heaven, with most other angels having learned to keep their distance away.

“We arranged a meeting as soon as possible,” Michael assured, though it was a little white lie. While Adam had expressed wishes to meet Lucifer as soon as possible, Michael secretly hoped to prolong their shared time together. “Isn’t that right, Adam?”

A faint golden hue dusted Adam’s cheeks once both sets of eyes, one a deep ocean blue, the other passionate ruby red, landed and focused on him with an intensity that sent his heart in panicked beats. He wasn’t sure what he did, but ever since he arrived in Heaven Michael had been attached to him almost everywhere he went. The archangel’s gaze was always an ocean that he found himself lost and drowning in with its intense waves of affection. Despite the months he had spent so closely with Michael, he still hadn’t gotten fully used to it, and now, Lucifer himself was also giving him a similar look. A passion burning wildly in those fiery reds, a hungry heat promising both sweetness and spice. In a way, it was almost predatory, and yet, Adam couldn’t find it within himself to run and escape, instead, he was drawn to it.

“I– uh,” Adam stammered, those red eyes sending an odd tingly feeling all over his body. He moved his gaze randomly towards the smooth table, a feeble attempt to escape that fervent gaze. “We did try to meet you as soon as possible…”

Adam felt a slight nudge from Michael, encouraging him to go on. “...because I missed you too, Luci.”

Luci. Luci. That nickname hadn’t been uttered in almost a millennia, and just the sound of it being pronounced by none other than his sweet angel sent the flame burning within Lucifer into a raging blaze. The intensity of the flames between his horns burned even brighter, all of his six red-white wings spread out wide in ardent excitement. Then, without another word, Lucifer released the tension that had been building up inside of him all this time and sprung onto Adam, colliding against Michael. The collision hadn’t phased him, however, as he simply shoved his brother out of his way and wrapped his arms tightly around Adam, nestling his head in the space just between Adam’s chin and chest. Oh how he missed his beloved’s scent, that refreshing earthy scent. And that warmth, the coziest he had ever felt, one that told him he was home.

—-

“Michael, what’s the meaning of this?!” Sera demanded, slamming a scroll down onto Michael’s desk as she tried her best to the anger that was starting to spill out of her.

Slapped onto Michael’s desk was a golden scroll, one used by Heaven for official contracts and deals. Once signed, it was unbreakable lest they face unwanted and unfavourable consequences. This particular binding deal had only been recently signed, the parties involved included Lucifer, Adam, and Michael himself.

“It was the best solution to keep Hell under control,” Michael coolly answered as he took the scroll into both his hands, one finger swiftly skimming over the details of their deal.

“It says here that ‘Hell will not attempt any uprising against Heaven and will keep its citizens in check so long as their King, Lucifer, shall have his wishes granted, that is, the presence of the first man, Adam, in Hell for at least half the time of a year,” Michael read the important details of the deal aloud as if to make Sera understand carefully.

“I know what the scroll says, Michael,” Sera said sternly. “What I’m asking about is the nature of the deal.”

Michael took a quick glance back down on the scroll and then back to Sera, a quizzical look on his face. “I don’t see a problem?”

An exasperated sigh, bordering on a loud groan, left Sera’s lips as she leaned back, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. Lucifer threatening to come crashing on Heaven’s gates was enough stress and trouble for her to handle, and now Michael had gone and made a deal with the Devil without her explicit consent? Yes, she allowed meetings between him, Lucifer and Adam in hopes that those talks would help calm Lucifer down, knowing the deep relations both Adam and Michael had with him. What she hadn’t expected was…this. And worse yet, Michael seemed to find no fault in this?

“You need to calm down, Sera,” Michael said, leaning back on his chair, the calm air that surrounded him only served to further irritate the high seraphim. “And look at this at a more logical angle.”

“Calm down? How can I be calm when you’ve simply signed Adam away to the Devil?!” Sera asked in irate disbelief, her wings beginning to flare up in slowly bubbling anger.

“Just for half the year. Like I said, please look at this situation more logically,” Michael explained again. “This deal would ensure peace between Heaven and Hell.”

“But Adam–”

“Will not be harmed by Lucifer, I can assure you that,” Michael cut in. “Adam will be safe. Plus, he was actually very much in agreement with the deal.”

That seemed to have put a sudden halt to Sera’s enraged panic, all of her wings slowly losing their fervor as they began to lower, the furrow of her brows starting to soften as her expression slowly changed into a more composed albeit confused one.

“What?”

“Adam was very much in favour of the deal. He’s good friends with Lucifer,” Michael repeated and clarified with a soft smile, blue eyes looking kind and stern at the same time, a silent declaration that he had made up his mind and that there was no changing it no matter what.

At that point, Sera knew then that there was no arguing against Michael. It wasn’t an occurrence that happened a lot, most of the time Michael was rather accommodating to her opinions and thoughts on a variety of matters. However, when it came to matters regarding the first man, then Michael could suddenly become particularly stubborn and a little autocratic. It was something that had been concerning her since the garden, only now did she realise, when it was too late, that his fixation with Adam might run just as deeply as Lucifer’s. And that thought alone sent icy shivers down her spine. Lucifer on his own was trouble enough, having the two of them go rogue would simply spell trouble for Heaven, something Sera would rather avoid. She took another glance at the golden scroll laid flat on the desk, the feeling of defeat weighed heavy on her shoulders. As much as worry clung tightly onto her core, Sera couldn’t recall a time when Michael had brought harm to either Heaven or humanity. Simply put, she just had to trust the archangel to not cross the line just like his brother did.

Without much of a choice, Sera reluctantly accepted the deal that Michael had already made with Lucifer and Hell. There were so many questions swirling in her mind, like how could Adam be so willing to this deal? How was Lucifer good friends with Adam? Hadn’t they been separated for over 900 years? So many questions, and yet, she couldn’t ask any of them in favour of ‘keeping the peace’.

“Well?” Michael asked, his head tilted slightly to the side.

“Please, next time let me know of the details first before you go deciding things on your own,” Sera replied, her tone exhausted and drained beyond measure.

“Noted.”

—-

Flashes of lights in varying colours danced in the dark red wallpaper of the castle. On the plush black couch, Lucifer sat comfortably on Adam’s lap, snuggling his face in the nook of his angel’s neck, enjoying the mesmerising scent that he had dearly missed. Adam, on the other hand, was focused on watching the movie playing on the wide screen in front of them, one hand occasionally dipping into the popcorn bucket on his side. In the comforting darkness of the living room, the world outside, the burning landscape, the screams of damned sinners hurling violence against one another, felt so separate as if both Adam and Lucifer were separate and away from the chaotic mess that was Hell.

Then, suddenly, a bright blue light shimmered into the room as a familiar pale figure casually emerged from it, causing Adam to briefly shift his gaze from the tv screen towards their new guest. Lucifer, on the other hand, was unfazed by the portal suddenly opening up in his castle, already used to its almost constant appearance.

“Oh! Hey Michael!” Adam lazily waved his butter covered hands over, gesturing the archangel to come over and sit by his side as he moved the popcorn bucket away.

“Hi Adam, what are you watching?” asked Michael as he walked over to his angel’s side, opting to instead shove Lucifer a little to make some more space on Adam’s lap.

A whiny groan sounded in the room as Lucifer fought against being shoved by Michael, his pointed teeth biting into the hand that was pushing him aside. Michael, however, was unfazed by this ‘act of violence’, a small smile painted on his face as he kept on shoving his brother and made a comfortable enough space for himself on his angel’s lap.

“Ugh, why do you always have to budge in?” Lucifer groaned aloud, clearly peeved about having to share his Adam.

“Because sharing is caring, dear brother,” Michael answered back.

“I’m the Devil, I don’t care,” retorted Lucifer, sticking out his tongue childishly as he tried to push Michael away.

Suddenly, the two brothers were pushed close together as Adam wrapped both arms around them, pulling the both of them even closer to him.

“Both of you hush,” Adam lightly scolded as he hugged them even tighter, both of their faces now flush against his chest. “I’m trying to watch the movie.”

A victorious smirk formed on Adam’s lips at the silence that answered him, knowing fully well how such intimate actions affected both brothers no matter how much time had passed. He could practically feel the raging heat on both of their faces through his clothes.

“If you both can promise to behave throughout the rest of the movie,” Adam started, “then I’ll be sure to reward you both handsomely~”

The two seated on his lap perked up noticeably at the notion of being rewarded, both suddenly becoming far more amiable and compliant to one another. Was Adam going to regret having dangled a shiny reward in front of the two? Perhaps. But he had offered rewards multiple times before, his back regretting it the morning after most of the time. Still, that hadn’t and wouldn’t ever stop him from offering some more. Good boys deserved to be rewarded after all.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel michael #michael x adam #guitarhero #🛡️🎸#hazbin adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #adamsapple #🍎🎸#merry christmas

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apoptoses · 2 days ago

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So I think there's a real world point and also a meta point here that serve as some kind of explanation, and unfortunately (in my opinion) the real world issue holds the greater weight on why Lestat is the way he is.

In America, we (sadly) really don't study French literature. The great American novel forms the backbone of most schooling, and then the British greats, and more recently scattered works by people who belong to minority/oppressed groups in the US. People know basically of the Count of Monte Cristo, the Three Musketeers, and Les Mis. And most of those because they've been made into films or stage shows. French philosophy is a fairly niche category one would only encounter in college, if then, or via encountering someone well versed in it who introduces them to those works.

(French history that's not exclusively Louis XIV, Marie Antoinette, or the French revolution? Forget about it. We don't learn any of that in school, except in brief mentions, and for the hobby historian French history books are pretty much limited to those topics)

For Anne, who grew up Catholic, those works would have been even more narrow. The Catholic Church has a list of 'banned' works which would tempt one into sin, and during her childhood Dumas and the Count of Monte Cristo was actually on it. Her awareness of Roman and Greek history was due, in part, to the fact that those cultures have biblical ties and thus history books about them were okay'd by the Church.

Then on top of that we have her admission that she struggled to read until sometime after college. Why, she doesn't really say, except to say her mind 'wandered' when she was assigned to read in school (which imo points to possible adhd considering she did take adhd medication later in life). And so she struggled with all reading to the point she didn't actually finish reading some of the works required for her master's thesis. Finishing a single book by Dickens, which she did love, took her over a year. Most of her early knowledge of literature came from stories she heard read over the radio or by her parents. And her later knowledge, which she had at the time she was working on iwtv, was that which she was assigned to read in college- which again, was mostly American and British works.

Which makes the blurring of her and Lestat all the more relevant here: Lestat himself does not learn to read until he becomes a vampire, and even then we don't see him mention reading at all until sometime after his return from Paris. At that point he picked up detective novels which, like Anne, he'd first heard read aloud on the radio.

And so like many underprivileged people who learn a skill later in life and then feel shut out by those who'd known it from their youth, I have to wonder if Lestat himself didn't feel some kind of way about reading and literature and eschewed reading for a good while after picking it up. His own mother knew of his desire to read, even read in front of him, but never shared literature with him and didn't push back against his father when he was brought home from the monastery, where he might have learned to read some.

That's a great wound right here and I wouldn't be surprised if for a time he felt derisive of French literature and those who were well read. Lestat was one of those harecatcher lords, aristocratic in blood but not in daily life, an outsider to the group he technically had the right to be a part of. Anyone who grew up like that would be liable to reject those things valued by those who spurned them, or those they feel like they're outside of. I can picture him in iwtv times sneering at Louis for picking up a book by Dumas and refusing to read it himself, though he very well could have, and mocking him for being a backwater intellectual.

(And sure, in iwtv he knows Shakespeare- but was he reading it, or did he pick it up the way he picked up his lines for his own plays? By hearing them over and over again?)

And you're right, him being so admiring of the British doesn't really make sense at all, unless you look at it from the angle that his pop culture awakening came at a time when British was synonymous with cool in the US. And by that time Lestat doesn't really seem to care for France at all (and why should he? He experienced mostly pain during his brief time in that place, much like Armand has little positive memory of Kyiv: it's all overshadowed by his kidnapping and loss of homeland)

So it's funny because despite his past in some ways Lestat is the most American of vampires. He embodies the American ideal of an immigrant who sheds their nationality, takes up the English language, and submerges themselves in American media. And via that Americanness he can be anything but also in some ways be nothing all at once.

I'd love to know what he read after his return to Auvergne and the establishment of the Vampire Court, and if he returned to his 'roots' so to speak. But sadly he's too busy dealing with kidnappings and replimoids for us to hear much about that lol

Armand, Haussmann, and Paris:

The thing about Paris that's not really discussed in the VC books themselves is the Haussmann project.

In 1853 Napoleon III commissioned Haussman to completely renovate Paris. The plan was to tear down all of the old structures and rebuild the city; reorganizing the streets and reshaping them to accommodate more green spaces, and replacing smaller buildings with taller apartment blocks in more uniform style.

The Paris Armand knew when he arrived as the coven master and which he came to know as the theater leader would have looked something like this:

Dark, winding streets leading off wide boulevards and short, leaning buildings.

The Haussman project would see all of these places systematically torn down, occupants removed to other areas of the city while new buildings were put in their place. In some areas workers were destroying and rebuilding things 24 hours a day.

At this time Armand would have been living at the theater on the boulevard du Temple, Paris's street of theaters:

This dagguerotype shows the boulevard in 1838. This painting, in 1862, looks much the same:

But by 1863 all but one theater on the street had been destroyed, and that was only because that theater was on the opposite side of the street shown in the painting. How and why it wasn't pulled down, I don't know- no information on it seems to exist, just like no explanation for the very small handful of other old structures that were left untouched.

That theater, the Théâtre Déjazet, still exists today. But it was established in 1770 by Comte de Artois, so while it could have been Anne's inspiration for Armand's theater it's not the 'rickety wooden rat trap' that seats 300 that Lestat describes in TVL.

Anyways, knowing all of this, I think it makes even more sense why Armand so quickly grabbed onto Louis and was ready to run away with him at any cost.

Armand, who'd been kidnapped from the monks, who'd had his palazzo torn out from under him, who'd established something of an existence under Les Innocents and was then ripped out of that world when the cemetery was destroyed. Who was watching the city he'd finally come to know get systematically torn apart. Everything that was familiar to him was being taken again.

So why not let Louis burn the theater? He arrived in Paris in 1870, just as Haussman was dismissed. But the work of destroying and rebuilding Paris was set to carry on. Chances were the Theatre de Vampires would be next, and if that were the case there's no way the crypts beneath the place would remain safe and undiscovered.

And if he'd stayed where would they go during the renovation? What would they do? What would the point be in continuing trying to run a coven he was bored of and a life he didn't care for in a new location?

Armand was going to have to begin again somewhere- better that be with Louis, out in the world, than roaming a now unfamiliar Paris. And even though he didn't burn the theater himself, allowing/instigating Louis to do it still gave him more control than letting a stranger come in at some unpredictable moment to demolish things all over again.

(And what of Lestat, what does he feel about these changes? He never could have shown Louis the Paris he knew and loved, which existed when Louis was still mortal- that Paris was largely gone)

Chances were Anne might not have known most of this at the time she wrote interview or even TVL. But I think it still makes a lot of sense and brings up a point about Armand and immortality that I don't see brought up much- that not only do vampires lose every mortal they've ever known, but with time they also see the destruction of every place they've ever known or loved.

(ps: I'm not an expert on this topic or anything, so if anyone does know why some buildings were unchanged or has any interesting historical info to add by all means please, reblog and add it on!)

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artificial-sleep · 3 days ago

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Saw this post and had a good laugh, but I also want to break this down. Call this my Deanior thesis.

Throughout the show, we see Dean make a lot of compromised decisions and react in a lot of different ways. However, one thing remains true all of the time:

Dean is afraid.

✨ Let me elaborate.

When you really think about who Dean is fundamentally and what principles guide him in making the choices he does, you'll find that he's very transparent with his priorities. First and foremost, he wants his brother to be safe, and he will go to great lengths to achieve that (including giving his own life, sacrificing himself in some way, or even going as far as refusing Sam his bodily autonomy just to save him).

But consider it: Dean's perfect world is one where he can save lives and not have to worry about Sam. Sam is such an integral part of his personality, and the result of this is that he tanks 95% of his time into ensuring that his little brother is okay.

However, due to the nature of their job, he often fails at protecting Sam and then ends up making shit so much worse for him. The nature of the job is that Sam will never be safe, so, by proxy, Dean will never rest.

This is such an important plot point and something that reinforces some of my favorite headcanons of all time. For example, I believe that Dean doesn't actually want to hunt forever, and he'd settle down with Sam in a heartbeat if he thought that's what Sam wanted, too. Look at when he's most happy: when Sam is content and safe and has the things he wants.

I hear these questions circulate over and over: Why does Dean act the way he does? Why would he make the terrible choices he makes? The answer is that he's afraid. He's fucking terrified. There's no security in what he does. Everyday he fears losing his loved ones. He carries the literal weight of the world on his shoulders (see how he internalizes John's warning of 'People are dying' by turning it into his own slogan), and he gets no reprieve. This causes him to go to extremes to protect his support system.

All that he does, he does to bring honor and respect and safety and stability to his family (My favorite example of this being how much time he invests in his car, which was entrusted to him by John, and Dean views that vehicle as an extension of his father, like he's responsible for it in the same way he's always been responsible for his family. This is something he reverts back to in crisis.), but what holds him back time after time is crippling anxiety.

Dean functions on a spectrum of crisis at all times, whether minor or major (but always a crisis, regardless, at least for the average person). He self-medicates with liquor to numb and sedate himself after living through extreme horror and tragedy, and it's also the only time he'll indulge in pleasures for himself (women/getting laid), but other than that? He's not overly hedonistic or abrasive. He's obsessive. Like a helicopter parent. He's overbearing and fussy and needs constant reassurance, and he's in the worst possible line of work for that type of thinking. He's constantly overextended and emotional beyond belief, making any kind of discussion of his problems or feelings overwhelming and unrealistic — not because he's "too manly" (although, this is the facade he uses). He shuts down because it's the only way he can grapple with the intense trauma he goes through on a daily basis (traumas he's been enduring his entire life). He ignores it or represses it because acknowledging it only makes it all the more crippling.

Because of this and because of who Dean is, I find it endearing when Dean gets compared to his father. To me, this man is not like John at all (no matter how badly he wants to be, haha). He's nowhere near strong enough. Sam wants the entire box of Lucky Charms before Dean has had a bowl? Okay, Sammy. You can have it. Whereas John would have tutted at Sam and made him eat the spaghettios, teaching him some hard lesson about not getting the things you want just because you're passionate about them.

Dean, my beloved, who tightens his robe and demands to speak to Sam in the other room like he's about to bicker so hard that Sam's ears fall off. That's the Dean I know.

Now, I understand that Dean is an older brother who was made responsible for his brother at a young age WHICH HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE PROBLEMATIC (and I do love when it is made problematic in fiction hehehe).

I see a lot of good evidence that Sam has several unhealthy coping mechanisms that revolve around him offering himself up like a punching bag, ever the Christ figure. And while, yes, I agree, I don’t think that's his goal when interacting with Dean.

People will point out how he self-sacrificially offers himself up to Dean as a means to try to get him to relax. The popular interpretation here is that Sam knows that Dean takes pleasure or solace in hurting him, and Sam was raised to take beatings from his big brother and has grown to like it to some extent, like a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. Although this is a unique and thought-provoking case to build, I'm not sure it fits into the way these characters are canonized.

When I see Sam tell Dean, "You want to take another swing? Go ahead if it'll help," I see his brattiness, a challenge and test. It's little brother Sam, rolling his eyes and huffing under his breath, muttering, Jfc, Dean, will you calm down? What do you need? Need to blow off some steam? Because holy shit. I can take a shiner if it means you'll STFU. This is a strong and assured Sam, a cocky and certain one that tests his brother and even mocks him to an extent, knowing Dean is blowing things out of proportion and needs to step back and do something to ground himself.

In addition to this, a lot of people note how Sam's whole demeanor changes in later seasons. As far as Sam getting more and more shy and drawn into himself and apprehensive and reclusive in later seasons, I 100% blame Lucifer and the horrors™ of the life. Dean is not part of the problem here. Sam can't always trust Dean, and there are several instances of him feeling betrayed, but the root of betrayal is hurt (not fear), and Dean has the capacity to hurt Sam unlike others can because of how deeply they rely on each other.

But Dean pointblank putting Sam in immediate danger? Purposefully going out of his way to hurt Sam? I doubt it. Dean is harmless. Sam is bigger than him, has been training with him since they were kids. Sam is not some helpless little boy. He's not distressed and abused. He challenges and mocks Dean constantly anytime he tries to bring up the fact that he has seniority or that he's better at certain things because he's older.

I consider overall how Sam treats Dean, how he talks to him. Does Sam worship the ground Dean walks on? Does he revere him and step on egg shells to appease him? LOL, NO. Sam goes away to Stanford and still cops an attitude when Dean shows back up asking for a favor (This is not to shit on Sam. We love a healthy boy setting boundaries. But. I mean, Dean had to beg him. This goes to show Sam has no problem rejecting Dean and/or standing up for himself.).

Some of the strongest evidence I see of this in the series is when Sam has a moment of maturity and gets a snippet of an idea of just how much Dean sacrificed for him.

Sam has legitimately no idea how many sacrifices Dean made for him, has no idea that Dean spent his entire childhood being solely responsible for Sam. HEAR ME OUT, GUYS: SAM IS A SPOILED LITTLE BITCH AND THIS IS GOOD! THIS IS REALLY GOOD! DEAN DID A GOOD JOB BECAUSE, OUT OF ALL THE EVIL IN THE WORLD, SAM ISN'T SCARED, AND HE DEFINITELY ISN'T SCARED OF DEAN.

So, whereas I like to explore the toxic codependency of two brothers, I struggle to see an imbalance in their dynamic. Dean and Sam are each other's safe spaces. If anyone, Dean blow things out of proportion (see: "Red Meat" lol). Like. Dean is insane to Sam always, but Sam gets it. That's just his overbearing, clingy mother. 🩷

In summation, Dean would have benefitted from anxiety meds, but furthermore, he'd be a completely different character if he had a stable home and a Sammy that stayed close by to him. Still codependent to an unreal extent but happier.

#wincest #supernatural #dean winchester #proship #weirdcest #sam winchester #spn meta #I feel like a lot of people have a massive misunderstanding of what “codependency” is #Their shit is fucked up together dawg like #There isn't a bad guy here. Just two guys that need wayyyy too much from each other.

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longlivedelusion · 3 days ago

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Hii, I saw you were doing requests for Marauders era things... Would you be keen to do a jegulus fic? would love to see them with a neurodivergent reader or something 💞 thank you !!! Ok if not comfortable

Thank you for your patience anon, if you're still around! Inspiration finally struck as I'm currently working through my own processes with my neurodivergent & mental health things. So I felt like what better time than now to write some fic therapy? Hope you enjoy! 🤍

The Art of Trying

Warnings: some angst and miscommunication. Good ending tho. My own personal portrayal of how neurodivergency shows up for me 🤍 but I know it's a spectrum for everyone. I'm no expert, just a human existing and trying.

James knew your routine well. He'd even adjusted some of his own so it could match up with yours well, which luckily didn't take too much effort given you were both early risers. Regulus, however, was the night owl of the three of you. He only woke up well after James and you had finished your morning tasks, and would work around the house quietly at night. But despite this, you'd all found a peaceful compromise in your daily lives so that this relationship could be at its absolute best. Thriving, he would say.

That was until Regulus got a new job that required him to be out by 8am. Which meant, a change in how you all lived and did things.

For James, the change was easy. He thrived with more people around, and waking up at the same time as his other partner felt like heaven. But for you... He knew this was a lot harder on you than you were admitting.

It started off fine, you also enjoyed the extra kisses and cuddles the first day, the second even. But James could tell that as you settled down after the excitement, the reality must have set in because you stopped making eye contact with them on the third day. Avoided their touches on the fourth.

By the end of the week, your voice turned cold.

"Can I please have some room." You mumbled out with a bit of an edge. Your body sliding carefully by Regulus's but not touching him. Reggie was making breakfast, some sort of omelette situation, but that meant there was cutting boards and cheeses and utensils all around and no space.

James was sitting at the breakfast nook with his coffee, reading over the Daily Prophet when he perked up at the tone.

"Of course darling," Regulus said, wand out immediately as he tidied up. "Apologies for that. Would you like an omelette?"

You grabbed your usual bowl, your yogurt, not even looking up to answer. "No thanks." You grabbed your things, saying a quick have a good day before you left for the bedroom and closed the door shut.

Now Regulus had been aware you were having a hard time adjusting, they'd anticipated it even. So he tried his best to accommodate your needs, but at the same time he had his routines as well. And he struggled the same, if not differently from too many changed to his own routine. James could tell the cold and distant attitude was affecting Reggie now as well, despite how patient he tried to be.

"Reggie y'alright?"

"No, James. I am not alright." Reggie sighed. "I feel like as if walking on glass, and by the time I get to work my day feels ruined. They barely looks at me, barely talks. Anything I do I feel as if it's wrong and I cannot- I don't want to shut her out. I don't want to shut down." He took a shaky breath in.

James was up in a moment, wrapping Regulus up in his arms. "I know, I know." He paused, focusing on easing his partner while he thought. "Maybe it's time we talk about it again, yeah? I know we discussed the change before, but it's obviously affecting them and you both more than you expected."

Regulus sighed as he rested his head on James' chest. "I suppose your right. I miss them, James."

James' heart cracked, "I know baby, but we can fix it yeah? This is fixable."

James felt Reggie nod on his chest. "Yeah," he mumbled.

He pulled Regulus back by his arms, "Would you rather talk to them now or after work?"

Reggie paused before letting out a breath. "Now, please."

He nodded and took Reggie's hand into his own, making their way to your bedroom as James knocked on the door. "Lovely?"

"Yeah?" He heard you mumble from within.

"Can Reggie and I come in for a moment?"

There was a long pause, an obvious tell on your end that you were aware that there would be a conversation happening. He gave you space to mentally preparing, waiting until eventually you let out a soft "Sure."

As James opened the door, they found you with your bowl empty and your tea forgotten, instead your back sat straight against your bed while you twisted your fingers in the top sheet.

"What's up?" You said in a forced nonchalant tone. He noticed your gaze focus on their interlocked hands.

"We just wanted to check in for a bit. Mind if we sit?" James said.

You nodded and the boys moved to the space across from you as an awkward silence filled the air. Your hands kept twisting at the sheets nervously until you'd notice and stop. Then just started up again.

"We've noticed you've been shutting down more lately, and we're just wanting to see how you're feeling if that's alright." James started.

Your faced dropped into a mix of guilt and sadness. "I'm... Adjusting."

"We know these things take time, of course." James placated, noticing Reggie's own guilt and frustration reflecting back in his face now. He squeezed his hand. "But you haven't really talked to us much since the change in schedules, and it feels a bit like you're shutting us out is all. We're worried."

You chewed on your lip, eyes glancing about as you thought. Not once landing on them.

"I just- I'm having uh... Hard time with. The difference." You managed out.

James nodded. "How so?"

"The sounds, the space, it's... Just different. And I feel myself getting frustrated and I don't wanna get mad at you guys because it's my brain, not you. You're not doing anything wrong. So I stay as long as I can, but it's just getting harder and I-" you choked out as you crashed your head onto our palms. "I just don't wanna take it out on you, I'm sorry. I don't know how to deal with this yet."

Reggie spoke up then, his voice calmer as his hand reached out to touch the fabric in front of you. "Darling, look at me please."

You lookes up warily as Regulus scooted closer, leaving James' side. "May I?" He asked, his palm up.

You placed your hand in his.

"It's not easy, when it feels as if our brains are working against us." Reggie started. "It's as if we are not cut out for the world and the world was not made for us. We may not be able to control how our brain interprets or how our body reacts, but we can choose and train ourselves to do the best we can. To try."

Regulus's hand reached up slowly to touch your face, giving you time to pull away if you so chose. "I want to try. I don't want my own inside rules to stop me from loving you the way that I want. The way you deserve." He paused and took a deep breath in and out. "But I also need you to trust me. To talk to me. This morning, yesterday, I-"

James put a supportive hand on Regulus's shoulder. Regulus seemed to struggle with his words, so James gladly chimed in. "We just want to support you as best as we can, but we also need to make sure we're all good too. And the only way to do that is if we talk about it. Are you okay with that lovely?"

You nodded, but kept your gaze down. "I'm sorry, I know this is a lot and I genuinely wish I knew how to deal with this better. Communicate better. I'm not... I'm not gonna be perfect at it. It may come out wrong."

Regulus tilted your now tear stained face up. "It doesn't need to be perfect. Just try, okay? And I will too. I most definitely do not say the right things always, nor do I express myself very well. Yet you've always been patient and non judgmental of it. Can you trust me to be the same?"

You held his gaze, doubt blooming behind your eyes. "I trust you I just-"

"Have been hurt by plebians before who couldn't deal with honest communication," Regulus finished.

You looked down at that and nodded slightly.

"We don't want you to be perfect," James supplied. "We just want you. As you are, as youve always been. That's all we want."

You met his gaze and reached your hand out to James. It's like his body could finally relax, touching you. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you guys about it. That I just shut you out."

"S'alright lovely. We get it." James said. "Maybe this is something to talk about with your therapist yeah?"

You nodded, "Yeah, I haven't seen her in a while. Probably should."

James couldn't help but smile at you, at how much he knew that phrase alone took you ages to get even comfortable saying. Going to a therapist and finding one you trusted. He couldn't help but feel himself fill with pride.

Regulus's voice suddenly broke the comfortable silence. "Well I also get it, but it wasn't alright. I've had to deal with work and life all without your cuddles and I've been quite remiss to be honest." James could swear a sort of pout apparated on Regulus's face as he spoke and then disappeared just as quickly.

James sees the slight amusement trace your lips, but you surprise him when you speak with such a deep sincerity and vulnerability instead. "I'm sorry Reggie. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Regulus nodded before you leaned in for a quick kiss. Then turned to place one on James as well.

"Well! I don't know about you but that just gave me all the energy I needed today," James said with the biggest smile on his face.

You laughed, a beautiful laugh, at the same time Reggie scoffed but didn't disagree. He even went to kiss you again.

James knew that things might come up again, that it's wasn't all solved. But you loved each other, trusted each other, and that was enough.

#jegulus #jegulus x reader #james potter x regulus black x reader #james potter x reader #regulus black x reader #starchaser x reader #starchaser #marauders era #fuck jkr #longlivedelusion originals #neurodivergent reader #angst with a happy ending #non gender conforming

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